The Heart of Revenge Page 4

  “Yeah, but I was—-”

  “But what?” she asked sharply, without even waiting for me to finish, her long black false-eyelashes not even blinking.

  “Was just wondering about this marriage, I don’t know if I —-”

  “Listen mi little ... spoil gal, a fifteen grand mi pay Ms. Merl to make mi dress and is not mi getting married ... You need to cut out you fuckery. You hear mi?”

  What was she bickering about? Fifteen grand? My original ivory satin Chanel wedding dress costed two thousand five hundred US that’s almost two hundred and fifteen thousand in Jamaican money. She continued to bicker

  “You think money grow on tree?”

  “But Pink ... I ...” As the pain stirred in my shin I could not speak straight, my face grimaced.

  “Shut up enuh gal, you a get marri—-” She stopped talking and popped her eyes open at an object on the face-basin.

  “But wait! ... Is what this? ... Is the cameraman camera that?” her stare now piercing, eyelashes unblinking. I tried to hide my guilt, made a limp-ish turn facing her, looking into her questioning eyes,

  “Yeah.” I didn’t realise that Nathan was trying to pick up his camera when I was shoving him to hide behind the curtain.

  “What you doing with the camera?”

  “I borrowed it.”

  “For what?”

  “What you mean sis? What else? To take pictures?”

  Pictures were there on the camera alright, but definitely not for my big mouth sister to see, no way, not Pinky at all.

  “Show mi them.”

  I didn't move. She looked at me intensely, grabbed the camera off the basin, started pressing every button. My heart skipped ten beats with every button she pressed. She kept on pressing, determined to see the pictures.

  “How mi turn on this?” She asked while her fingers busily experimented with pressing things on the camera that couldn’t even be pressed. They not even buttons. Immediately I said,

  “The batteries died on me ... That’s why I stopped.” She looked up from the screen of the camera, looked at me in concentration then as she seemed to find what she was looking for in my eyes she began pressing more buttons faster than a BB texter, and said,

  “Is lie you telling, mi don't believe you.” My heart raced up to my neck as I saw a green light blinked twice at the side of the camera. I yelled.

  “Put it down! Because it more expensive than your dress, you can pay for it if you mash it up?”

  She knew me well. She could sense I was lying, something I was hiding. The money bothered her, she put down the camera from whence it came.

  “Mi hope you never fuck the picture man on your wedding day enuh gal.”

  “What you take mi for Pinky? Seriously. Mi can’t believe you said that.”

  Even though she was right, I wanted her to feel guilty for jumping to a dirty presumption like that. I raised my voice to seem really hurt about it.

  She looked back at the camera, grabbed it up. I yelled,

  “Put down the frigging camera nuh!”

  "Mi see one button that mi never try yet.”

  “Put it down!”

  "How you getting so vex?”

  She pressed the button. Nothing happened, pressed again, a red light blinked. Pressed again, nothing, continued, pressed again.

  “Pinky put down the camera nuh! My God you persistent. Mash it up, mash it up, ’cause is that you want do.”

  She put back the camera down once more. I shook my head in disgust and vented,

  “Sometimes I wonder if you really are my sister.”

  “If me and you a sister? You trying to say that you better than mi Lee? You think you better than people through you go College and live on hillside?”

  Something turned inside me. Although I was sick and tired of this same argument, I was used to it because no matter what we talked about it always ended up here. Nothing new.

  “No Pinky, why you always bring uptown into everything? Why you would even think that sluttish thing about your OWN sister?”

  She didn't seem a bit perturbed about her presumptions. She answered with no emotions towards my feelings,

  “’Cause that is how uptown gal stay... Think any of you easy?”

  “Hug and kiss my ass Pinky! Just get the hell out the bathroom and don’t let the damn door knob hit you on your way out. Hsst. You getting mi seriously upset with your stereotype thinking. The typical botoo behaviour, I can’t expect anything better from you.” I was pointing her to the door. “Not because I am getting married and you have two different baby father and none of them stayed, you jealous like ...”

  “You don't hurt up your head ’bout mi an my babyfather, we is quite alright, ooh. What you must worry ’bout is your nasty dirty life you living. You and Aubrea is the same thing.” It was as if Pinky was unloading some bad feelings from off her chest. “Mi can jealous of you? After you not better than me.” She stepped closer as if she could just fist me right in my mouth and said,

  “You only marrying Qwan for his money, sell you selling yourself, at least any man mi sleep with mi did love them ... not their MONEY.”

  I wasn’t pissed. Pinky knew there was much more to the story, but her mind was bent one way and it made no sense even trying to teach her anything if Mom couldn’t. Pinky thought I had a choice not to do it. I, on the other hand, knew I had to do it, Mommy knew and told me I had to do it and my brother life literally depended on it. I must marry today.

  “So why you have a man if him can’t help you in life? I prefer do what I have to than breed and suffer for some careless man that can’t even find food for themself much less buy a pack of Huggies for the baby.”

  Since Pinky wasn’t leaving, I stormed out the bathroom with a slight limp in my step trying not to let Pinky notice my bruised shin. Flashes of sex with Nathan brought back sensations in my belly, I wore a small smile, no one will know what had happened behind that bathroom door that swung to a close as Pinky trailed behind me like a chaperon. I pretended to be angry at her, you know, making it seem real, as if I cared what she said,

  “It’s my wedding day, can you at least be happy for me, at least once in your life?”

  I marched briskly down the narrow baby blue corridor, the bedroom doors painted in white with gold doorknobs, then it flashed in my head, Oh Shit! I didn't take Nathan’s BB pin.

  Pinky’s shout from behind frightened me out of my thoughts, “Sis! Sis! Stop! Wait, wait!” She had a shock sprawled out in her voice.

  I turned a deaf ear to her. Kept bolting down towards the living-room where the rest of the family was chatting up an excitement over the wedding. I could barely feel the pain in my shin as I strode hurriedly. Pinky hastened her steps behind me, trying to catch up, caught up, she snatched my arm and tugged me to stop. I had no choice, she was bigger and stronger. I stopped in the corridor almost reaching the crowded living-room. It was so surprising, Pinky was whispering, very unlike her,

  “Sis, what’s that on your dress?” she was looking at the tail of my dress.

  “I don’t know. What you see?” I was worried for some strange reason but what the hell could she have seen? Pinky was trying to figure out what she saw, she spoke in a low tone,

  “How that look like cum so much sis?”

  Shit! I didn't wipe Nathan’s cum off my gown. I baffled for the appropriate lie to tell,

  “Huh? ... Nooo. What you talking ’bout?”

  “Come here, make mi show you.”

  Pinky’s strong hands pulled me closer, I pushed her hard, she grabbed me, I pushed her harder, she grabbed me tight, I could not move, she lifted the tail of my gown, I grabbed my gown out her hands and cursed at her,

  “Why you don't just leave mi alone Pinky?” While I flashed my body in temper. I slightly slipped from her hand. She snatched high up on my arm, just below my arm-pit, got a more steady grip of me, rough and powerful, hauled me closer, squeezing my arm so tight it hurts, “It’s none of your business,
leave mi alone!”

  “Leave mi bloodclawt.”

  "Is mi nose naught.” That was the best lie I could come up with on the spot. She wasn’t buying it.

  Determined, she stuck her index finger in the substance, and with a swoop of her finger wiped some of the creamy substance on the pad of her finger tip. She rubbed the sticky substance between her index finger and her thumb, testing to find out if it’s the real thing. She sniffed it, pulled it away from her face, wrinkled her nose, questioning, smelled her fingers again. Her eyes widened and her mouth opened as if trying to swallow a football whole,

  “Bloodclawt!...” I yanked the tail of my dress out of her hand, “Is cum this! ... How you say you never fuck the cameraman?” She gave a mix-up smile and burst out,

  “Mi have to go call Raga ’bout this one here to rass!”

  CHAPTER 6

  Jacket Or Abortion

  by: Leelia Lexings

  I remained silent, still looking at the ground, pulling my gown out Pinky’s hand. Mad at her, ashamed of myself, I wanted to bury myself under the earth out of shame. My tears about to mess up my makeup. My lips were trembling, hands were shaking, I was about to have a breakdown on my wedding day. Oh God please, don't let this happen to me, please. I was wrong and stupid, please, please forgive me. I know I was stupid, but I was so angry too, it just got the best of me. I really wanted to hurt back Qwan and I know how jealous he was. I know jealousy was the deepest hurt I could cause him and that’s what I wanted, revenge. To hurt him back the worst way I knew how. But God, what I did was so stupid. So stupid. The tears trickled out my eyes and unto my face. I stood there silent, crying, wishing I hadn’t. I could not answer sis, nor could I look at her. She will desecrate me with her vandalising mouth, cast an unending spectacle and shame.

  Pinky whispered,

  “Come sis, make we go clean it off before nobody see it.”

  Not what I expected from her. I budged, then stopped, stood still in my tracks. I didn't want to go back into the bathroom where Nathan was. I didn't want to make situations more uncomfortable with the three of us in the bathroom, and there’s no telling what Pinky might do in there to Nathan. She’s so unpredictable. But I had nowhere else to go. Everywhere else was too lively with family. We hurried back to the bathroom, she held my hand, we reached the door.

  “Leelia! Leelia! Lee!” Mommy’s voice strained from the livingroom and echoed down the corridor to us. I stopped, turned towards the livingroom.

  “She soon come!” Pinky replied for me, pushing me forward towards the bathroom door. We both pushed the door open, walked through it. I was greeted by a hint of sex smelling in the air. Or, maybe, I was only too conscious that I just had sex in here. There was no Nathan. He must have snuck out. Pinky still insisted to look around, peeping under the sink as she called out,

  “Pictureman! Pictureman!” walking and searching. She pulled away the blue and yellow shower curtain as if she expected him to be hiding somewhere in the bathroom.

  Pinky’s eyes grew pattoo-wide, her jawbones dropped and she blurted out,

  “Cocka-clawt! Jesus Christ Pictureman, what a rass hood BIG!” She couldn’t take her lusting eyes off his penis, “No sir, Almighty, you bless.” Nathan got uncomfortable in his skin. Pinky continued to lust, “God know, you bless.”

  Nathan remained standing in the shower, one hand behind his leg, trying to hide the piece of tissue he was using to wipe off the head of his penis. Pinky suddenly spoke from an angry place.

  “Hope you never cum in mi sister enuh pictureman!”

  Nathan looked at me before raising his voice at Pinky

  “Stop call mi pictureman! Mi is not no pictureman!” His voice got sterner, “Pictureman take picture on mall and sidewalk. Is mall this?” He asked Pinky with his eyebrows muscled up “Mi a photographer. A professional photographer.”

  Pinky walked up to him, her fluffy bosom in his forehead, she looked at his dick, mouth almost watering, grabbed it and tugged it, almost pulling it down to his knee, asking Nathan

  “You love fuck people wife?” The sex look roaring in Pinky’s eyes, “You suck pussy, pictureman?” and she dipped her hand under her skirt to take off her panty. Nathan’s eyes were lusting at Pinky’s curvaceous shape as he nodded his head yes, up and down, mouth near drooling as if he were frightened for Pinky’s brown skin or to eat brown skin vajay-jay. Her brown skin didn’t make hers any better than mine. I folded my hand, watching Pinky.

  Pinky stepped out her white panty. My eyes got pregnant with disbelief. O.M.G. My sister about to have sex with the man I just had sex with minutes ago, right infront of me, on my wedding day, in the bathroom, with Mommy in the livingroom. Like seriously? What a shock. What an eventful day. I mean, this was so not like Pinky. She wasn’t even a cheater; she just not the type. I had no idea a cock could turn on someone that much. Was that even possible? Evidently it was.

  She held her panty up in the air above her head and Nathan gazed at it held high in her hand. She swung her panty down mightily. Slapping him right in his face almost blinding the short man. She lashed him in his face three more times powerfully as she instructed him,

  “Go suck your woman then and leave mi little sister! Big hood pictureman!”

  Nathan stuffed his dick in his pants, tucked his camera under his arm and scrammed through the bathroom door like a coward mongrel, without looking behind him, tail between his legs.

  “Watch the little coward.” She smiled. I chuckled too. She turned to me and said “You good still enuh Lee, you so mawga, how you take that big thing?” A ridiculing smile curved the corner of her lips, “No, mi rate you little gal.”

  I was still a tiddy bit embarrassed. I looked groundward, staring at Pinky’s leg. Her dress was the shortest of everyone in the bridal party, I stared at the green, red and yellow tattoo on her leg. It was big enough to hide an awful scar she had got when she was a baby. She was still embarrassed when anyone stared at her scar, even though the tattoo was hiding it. She walked towards me,

  “Come let mi help wipe off your dress.” I waltzed over to the face-basin and lifted up the tail of my gown. Pinky went to the toilet bowl and reeled tissue around and around her four fingers as if wrapping a sprain injury re-enforcingly with bandage. She placed her other hand on the tissue to stop it from spinning in the holder, the amount of tissue around her four fingers looked like half of the roll. She popped the reel and shoved the bulk of tissue from around her four fingers, then squeezed it into a ball in her palm. My eyes were shouting, I asked,

  “Where you going with so much tissue?”

  “Nuh must to wipe off the cum, mi don't want none of that touch mi hand.”

  Pinky waddled over to the face basin where I was, her big round bumper rolling to a beat. She barely turned the knob of the pipe so the water only leaked from the pipe’s mouth. She placed the white ball of tissue under the dripping pipe. She didn't let it stay there a second before she pulled it back from under the pipe. She turned the knob till the water stopped running, she continued to turn the knob, more than tight, almost breaking off the thingy. I asked her,

  “You gone spoil the pipe?”

  “With what?’

  “Why you turning it so much for? You never needed to wet the tissue enuh.”

  "Is cum stain. Not because it white now, if you just wipe it off alone and don't wet it, it will leave one brown stain round the edge when it dry up. You never know that?”

  I had no idea that would happen. It’s not like they taught you these essential chemical reactions in chemistry class - what would happen if cum dried up on your white clothes. They may need to add it to the syllabus I joked to myself before answering,

  “Yeah. Of course I knew that, my mind just wasn’t thinking about that now.”

  “You mind never a think none at all today, is like you turn idiot.”

  “Which idiot?”

  “You never ’fraid you catch one pretty little disease name AIDS?” She eyed me
with a weenie bit of temper and a huge hunk of how-can-you-be-so stupid-gal, “You never use a condom sis? Is carelessness that enuh, suppose you all end up breed for the pictureman?”

  “Why you have to think the worst? Nothing can’t happen because I still have two safe days.”

  Pinky held her palm upturned and opened with the gown spread over her palm. Biting her bottom lip as she rubbed the tissue in small circles on the cum-spot. She released her lip,

  “Then what if you get pregnant still? That can happen. What you would do?” She turned her eyeball at me, “Give Qwan the child that is not his own? Give Qwan a jacket?”

  I looked at my reflection in the mirror. Brushed a few strands of my hair neatly back in place from off my forehead. I stuck my thump in my mouth. Pinky’s look hardened at me,

  “Take your nasty finger out of your mouth and answer mi. You just done fuck and you just throw your dirty finger in your mouth like is nothing. Take it out man.” I took out my thumb.

  “Wouldn’t give him any jacket. Mi wouldn’t give him the baby.”

  Pinky ceased rubbing and with a bewildered gaze asked,

  “You cold eeh man? After you married, you’d really tell him you breeding for a next man? What would happen to our brother?”

  Pinky was smart and usually caught on to things quickly. I thought she would’ve read between the lines already. I tried to avoid the argument ’cause she just wouldn’t understand my point anyway.

  “My face needs a little touch up, a little face powder, don't?” I angled my face in the mirror, “You can apply some for me sis?”

  “You mean, you taking contraceptive then? Pearl or injection?” Pinky was chatting casually, I should have just agreed and said, ‘Yes, pearl’. Or even the injection, any of them, but instead I stepped on thin ice and said

  “No, those things bloat mi up and let mi put on too much weight.”

  The green veins in Pinky’s hand rose as she muscled to crack back the pipe knob she had tightened. She wet the tissue again, then rubbed circles in a new spot on the gown close to the first one. I said to myself. ‘Is so much juice Nathan let go. Damn! It doesn’t look like he wasn’t getting any chunny.’ Pinky replied to my earlier comment,